"Hello Everyone ! It is I Granny Fortuna who will be telling you all about the goings on in this village! Does this look like the face of a happy woman? NO! " big dramatic sigh " This weekend my Christmas shop should have been ready for to serve the good peoples of this Village and the surrounding area.
But NO! That sneaky Mrs Mum did be sneaky ! She was clever and cunning and Mr Dad, an innocent and good man by all account, was drawn in and the trap snapped shut before he could draw breath and run for cover!
She's far to clever that Mrs Mum, oh she puts on that innocent face of 'who me? ' but I have her measure !
I will tell you the goings on... today is Sunday, I was ready and waiting to be released from my turn in that old glass cabinet , where I have been chatting and passing the time of day with the other villagers and telling them that it's December and to be ready to come to Granny Fortuna's shop for all their Christmas goods and goodies later today!
The weather is cold and damp, not the weather for gardening, so I know Mrs Mum will arrive shortly to help put my shop up.
But no one comes to release Bruno and me ! The time passes and I managed to crack the door open slightly so I can hear what is being said.
Mrs Mum is asking Mr Dad to see what the wall is made of ? Why does she need to know? it's a wall it's made of well... wall of course !
Then there is some small noise and Mr Dad says, Thermalite ? Then he says are you expecting me to take this wall down this afternoon ! What wall ? take it down? why? I wonder !
Then the sneaky Mrs Mum , she's say she's not expecting anything.... but I can hear her moving things !
Then the sound of furniture being moved ! Furniture so big it makes a noise! not little furniture like for a poor old Granny's SHOP! No big noisy things and more shifting and moving!
Still Bruno and I wait, then suddenly an terrible drill and crashing and banging like the house will fall down!
Then it stops! at last silence..... whats that I hear?.... the sound of the kettle! They have stopped to eat their lunch! what about my shop! the time is getting later and there is dust in the air making me cough!
Then after a very little time Mr Dad is again making a terrible racket ! Hammering and dropping things and dust rolling round the house! There is a terrible chill because they have opened all the doors! Don't they know it's DECEMBER!
Not only am I still waiting , they are trying to freeze me to death! My poor old teeth are chattering and Bruno's knees are turning a pale shade of blue!
I try shouting What about MY SHOP! but no one can hear me with all this racket! I have to stop as my throat is getting very sore and full of dust!
Hours have passed before I manage to escape from the cabinet and make my way to where all the noise was coming from! Can I see my shop? is it all ready and waiting for me to open the doors and welcome my first customers in the morning? NO!
I can hardly tell where I am ! Something is missing and the furniture is not where it was! At least they have finally shut most of the doors but it's still chilly!
There are wires hanging down and a hole in the floor! Someone's removed all the china from the dresser!
Then the penny drops! That sneaky Mrs Mum conned poor Mr Dad into taking down the wall! That woman just cannot wait! No , never mind poor Granny Fortuna making ends meet by getting a good Christmas sales, no much better they knock down the wall and leave poor Granny waiting for her shop to be set up!
No that sneaky Mrs Mum says Oh Granny I'll be able to help put your shop up in a few days once the dust as settled!! Settled! settled! It's dust why does it need to settle! That woman should get out the hoover and clean up all that dust ! I have Christmas cards and wrapping paper to sell , and lets not forget toys and gifts ! " Cough cough.. " I need my shop open now! That young whippersnapper just gave me that look.. you know the one that works on children.. but it does not work on me! I tell you my shop will be open Tuesday dust or no dust! Please feel free to drop by and purchase a bargain or two! Now I am off to write a letter to Santa there is someone's name that needs to be at the top of the sneaky naughty list and I'll make sure it's there!"